Freedom of Speech

I have had a very long break from my blog. I could make many excuses, but I won't. The fact is an evil bitch from hell tried to use my blog against someone I love. The result is I stopped blogging. End of story. 

Except it isn't the end of the story. I stopped blogging because someone (not the evil bitch from hell) make me feel guilty. I felt embarrassed for my honesty. I have spent lots of time thinking about it. The truth is blogging is a way to get out my emotions in a non-harmful way. I live with thoughts rolling around in my head all the time. If I don't get them out, they tend to cripple me emotionally. I used this blog to deal with lots of feelings I was having. The problem is, most of the problems I've had the last two years, I can't blog about. It isn't appropriate. This is mainly because in the past, I was able to purge and gripe anonymously. Usually only the person I was writing about knew I was talking about them. Now everyone would know exactly who I'm talking about if I let loose about what I really feel.

The funny thing about the use of my blogs to hurt, is that none of the blogs in question were even referring to that particular person they were trying to injure. Evil minds, however will find what they will and twist it to suit their own nefarious purposes. Its usually those people guilty of the worst deeds that will cast their own shadows onto others, so no one will see what they are really are. 

Now to the point of this blog.

This world that we live in has so many people casting the blame on others for their own failings. We are a society who would rather blame others for everything that is wrong than to stand up and take ownership for their own actions. It makes me sad. 

One person is not responsible for all of the world's problems. We all as a society are the problem. Our inaction or complacency allow the status quo to continue. "I don't have time." "It won't make any difference." "That is someone else's problem." "It doesn't affect me, so why should I care?" 

There is a question. "Why should you care?" You should care because it affects someone. It may affect your parents, your siblings, your kids, you friends even if it doesn't affect you. I'm sorry, I care about general human suffering. I have supported gay marriage as long as I've know it is an issue. It doesn't affect me personally, but it does affect many of my friends. So I advocate for equal rights for gays, lesbians, transgenders, et al. Just because it isn't a personal issue for you doesn't mean you should ignore it. I believe in equal rights for all humans regardless of sexuality or religious beliefs.

I'm sorry if my honest offends. Really I am. But we live in a country where we all have freedom of speech. That means I can say what I want, and you can say what you want. You don't have to like it. You don't even have to listen. You do have to allow me my own beliefs. And I will respect yours even if I don't agree with you. That is what is go great about our country.  Different isn't wrong. It's different. 

Here's a toast to Freedom of Speech. 

I'm baaaaaccckkkk!

It has been a long time since I've blogged. I've been busy. Since my last blog I've bought a house, thrown my first party, celebrated Halloween in my new neighborhood and a few other important things. My life has changed in so many ways and I've been so busy living it, I haven't written.

My dad said to me recently (ok - two months ago), that I seemed happy and that was all he wanted for me. I am happy with most things in my life. I am a different person in so many ways. My wild streak that started when I moved to San Antonio is finally over. I've stopped my childish ways, and finally settled down. I think I needed a house. A place to call my own. The result is I've settled down.

I'm looking at my future and I see so many changes coming. Big things. Nothing will ever be the same. I'm adjusting to a different lifestyle and making long term plans for the first time in my life. 

This week I have many emotions swirling around. I miss my mom a lot. I wonder if she'd be proud of what I'm doing. I always miss her this time of year. Next week we are starting a new family tradition, and I'm excited. I'm sad, and feeling a little lonely, which is weird because I'm renting a room to a friend right now, and for the first time in my post-college life, I have a roommate. I haven't been alone in a while. I don't know what to do with myself. 

I really feel like my life has been in a holding pattern the last few months. I've been waiting for something to happen, but I'm not sure what. The anticipation is killing me. The stress is making me sick. My body is literally rebelling on me. For a month I could barely move my neck. It's better now, but it was painful to say the least. Work has been killer, and a bored co-worker has decided a passive aggressive war on me. She is a pain and has nothing better to do. It's getting old quick.

In addition to my own issues, a close friend is going through a very tough time. I try to be supportive, but sometimes I just think I'm being pushy. Giving suggestions based on my knowledge of certain things can be exhausting. I'm not sure what is worse, trying to make sure I have the correct answers or my fear of being too bossy. I'm trying to walk a fine line, and frankly I wish it was over. It's tough for everyone involved. The sooner it's over the better everyone will be.

Anyway - I just wanted to write for a few minutes. Try to focus on anything except missing people. The holidays are so hard.