Silence is Golden

Today is one of those rare days. Those days where I manage to actually make it through the day without talking to anyone, not withstanding my chiropractor's office who called to check on me. 


It is strange to think I actually long for those days when I don't have to talk to anyone. Days of silence when I can reflect on my life. Think about those things I'm doing wrong and doing right. Things I should change, things to keep working on and things I should keep on doing the same.


I know people who can't stand being alone, although they are the lasts ones to admit it. They must find something to do, or someone to talk to in order to feel complete. Today, other than a brief text interchange to check on a friend I was worried about, I haven't really chatted with anyone. I haven't wanted to. I've been dreading something of late, and it has been causing me just a tad bit of anxiety. I'm anxious not because I don't know the outcome, but because I don't know which outcome might be better for me. On different levels, each would be a good thing.


That particular anxiety is deeply embedded in my subconscious and not something I want to admit to myself. That maybe the hard thing would be the best thing. That maybe the thing that hurts the most in the short run may be the thing that is best for me in the long run. Or maybe not. I keep waiting for something to happen and it's not. I expected the shoe to drop already, but some how it isn't happening. Now I'm perplexed as to what to do. I was expecting something to happen and it didn't . Now I'm just not sure what to do with myself.


Silence really is golden at times. It gives me a chance to think deep thoughts. It gives me a chance to center myself and gain some clarity and insight. Whatever the motives for the actions I'm taking in my life, and I can guarantee most people in my life do not know my true motives, it is days like this that serve to reaffirm my course of action. For better or worse. I hope for the better. I truly do. 


No matter what, I'm trying to enjoy life. I'm going to have fun and try not to get into too much trouble. And most of all enjoy days like this.