"Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feelWhen reality sets back in..."
--"I'm not that Girl" from Wicked
I really need to slap myself back into reality. There is no knight in shining armor who is going to ride in on a white horse and save me. The man of my dreams is probably never going to walk up without me having to do a thing and sweep me off of my feet. No one is going to ease all of my burdens and take away all my worries. There is no such thing as magic.
I don't really believe every word I just typed. There are miracles and happy endings happen all the time. I however am a realist. I don't believe in fairy tales. I really wish I did. I really, really wish I did. Who doesn't want all of the things I mentioned above? "Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl."
Yeah - you know you've been there and felt those feelings. We all have at one time or another. I have a hard time not thinking about the second and the last verse to this song...
"Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy...
Don't wish, Don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart."
I try not to show my softer side. I want to lock it up. It gets hurt too easily. It's the side that curls up in a ball crying because no one is talking to me at Christmas, and I'm the one alone. The side that causes me to withdraw from conversations at times. The contemplative side that thinks through everything. My realistic side. And yes for all of you haters - my negative side.
If you really want to know the truth, I long for a person who can distract me from my inner dialog. Make me think about other things than the things I worry about. Ease my troubled mind, and all that.
In the meantime I am stuck in reality. A life on my own terms. Not the life I would have chosen for myself, but the life I lead. I wish I could live life in la la land with my head in the clouds. God knows I would be a lighter person, but alas - I'm not that girl.
Hi it's me, the guy from Yahoo. :) See? I told you I'm checking this site out.
ReplyDeleteWow, this stuff is really great. I really enjoyed reading it. :) And please don't show your negative side too often. :( Trust me, your Mr. Right is out there somewhere waiting for you. He'll be the guy who will comfort you when your softer side wants to come out. He'll understanding and a great listener. He'll be the guy who eases your troubled mind. But until then, don't forget to keep smiling. Never give up hope. :) You'll find him soon.
JYC
Thanks for the comment. I was talking to a friend yesterday and said wasn't optimistic about something. She said just because I wasn't optimistic, didn't mean I had to be pessimistic. I thought that was interesting. Thanks for the support.
ReplyDelete