Chemistry. What is it? Why is it important? Is chemistry necessary? There are different kinds of chemisty. Chemistry between friends, between co-workers, and of course in romantic relationships. I mean really, if Bella and Edward and Bella and Jacob didn't have chemistry on-screen would Twilight, the movie version, work?
There are honestly people I have known in my life with whom I have had incredible non-romantic chemistry. Mike, my favorite boss, was one of those. We had this weird relationship. We worked together seamlessly. He was sick and sometimes couldn't get his words out. I used to finish his thoughts for him. There were times when he looked at me with such a look of gratitude. Without chemistry, this wouldn't have been possible.
Think about friends you have who you are closest too. There is no explanation as to why I'm friends with some of the people I am, but I have a few friend who I can go years without talking to, but we can almost finish each other's thoughts despite the time and distance.
Today I'm worried about the romantic kind of chemistry. I have male friends who I love, who I get a long with, but they are friends. Not anything more than friends. I've even dated a friend after years because there was some chemistry. It was a mistake, because it turns out we were much better friends than something more. I'm not writing this because I have any theories as to what chemistry is. It's a fluke that some people are lucky enought to find.
I want to know why there are certain guys I have no problems at all talking to. I can be myself and be one of the guys without being the least bit self-conscience. I can laugh and joke, and relax and let loose. Be the person I usually am with my female friends. But get be near someone I'm interested in, and I clam up. I'm shy, I'm quiet. Or I try too hard. I'm akward. I'm completely not myself. I can't relax.
I was terrible not too long ago, and I kissed a man I met in a club who was nice enough to walk me home. A friend, who I told about it assumes I'm bold because I kissed a stranger. The truth is, kissing a stranger is cowardly. It takes much more strength to open yourself up to someone you like. Sure, I'm bold when I know there is no way I'm going to see a person again; however my hands start sweating and I get scared when faced with someone I like or have a crush on. No matter how old we get, don't most of us revert back to high school mentality when is comes to a crush? I found myself identfying with "Joanie" at practice the other day. We all know Joanie loves Chachi, and boy was she scared at first.
Don't we all get nervous when faced with a crush? Isn't it the best feeling in the world? It's even better when it becomes something more. Now if only I can remember how to get from point A to point B. I really need to throw shy out the window. Then maybe I'm might have something more interesting to write about. I just wish I knew whether someone was flirting or just being nice. I may need to leap before I can fly.
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