What is it about instant messaging???

A far as I can tell, the world is slowly converting to communication via instant messaging and texts. It's no longer necessary to talk to someone face to face. All you have to do is type a message and hit send. 

Obviously the person who you send a message to knows it's from you. However, not having to look someone in the face when you text something kind of gives you a bravado you might not have if you are standing there looking someone in the eye. It makes you brave. I mean, my last boyfriend asked me out over IM on Facebook. How chicken is that? Maybe if he'd looked me in the eye when he asked, I would have seen what he was lacking, and avoided him all together.

I have had some men in my life who will say things over IM, but barely look me in the eye when they see me. Flirting electronically is the new way to feel people out. You can flirt, but you don't have to face the other person. You can say things you wouldn't normally say in person. An acquaintance of mine recently posted on Facebook that his greatest fear was rejection. Hell yes, most of us are afraid of rejection. So we flirt without having to face that person. But what are we afraid of - it not being reciprocated, or it actually being returned?

I flirt with men I would never date. It's just who I am. I tend to not flirt with the ones I really like. I remember a crush I had. I really big crush. He was so much younger than I am. I discreetly asked around to find out if he was single, then I drew him into conversations. I was afraid he would laugh at me because I was 10 years older. I didn't flirt at first, but as my crush grew, I finally threw caution to the wind. Eventually it did happen, but our problem was he was a terrible email communicator, and I'm a terrible face to face communicator. As a result, our lack of communication resulted in a meltdown.

How do you figure do what they mean? I'm still trying to figure out how the same person who says I can use their empty bed, can barely look me in the eye when he sees me. A mutual friend calls him the awkward flirt. He is fast and furious in the electronic realm, but stiff and uncomfortable sometimes in person (and if you recognize yourself in this description, it's true - but in the words of our mutual friend, we love you anyway).

I told someone recently, that I was pretty sure I was going to blush and stammer the next time I see them in person. An old friend I haven't seen in ages, we recently started talking again. I had forgotten how much we talked. In the old days we talked on the phone all the time. When we hung out, we talked. Now we IM. Sometimes we talk on the phone, but the opportunity doesn't present itself often. There is a long history there, and through IM we were able to clear the air about past events and come to some clarification. 

One night we were IM'ing, and we got heavy into a conversation and decided to call. The minute we got on the phone, we both practically froze. When we hung up, we went back to IM and continued our conversation for a few more hours. It doesn't say much about either of us that we can't talk face to face.

The point of this is, at least we are communicating is a mutually acceptable medium that is comfortable for all parties. I was able to say things and let myself be vulnerable without having to make eye contact. It can be truly liberating. 

I also recently had the opportunity to talk to someone who I know I hurt. To be able to finally tell them what I was feeling when I did what I did was something I needed to do. It laid several ghosts to rest. Through the safety of IM, we resolved our past, clearing the way for a friendship in the future. It was enlightening. And something I couldn't have done face to face. Probably a good thing I won't see them anytime soon.

And duh - why do think I blog? I can't say this stuff in person. I'm not that fearless.