Demons

Oh, my demons are coming back tonight. The things that haunt me at times. The demons that mar my happiness, make me doubt what I know and bring back such sorrow into my life.

I admit I'm haunted by many things. I've pretty much put the ghosts of boyfriend past out of my mind, but on occaision I do think about things. I'm learning a new song for karaoke and it reminds me of the past. I'm only learning it because I can really sing the song. Like I can record myself and listen and think it sounds good, but it's a depressing song. And it reminds me of one of my past relationships.

Relationships are not what is haunting me tonight. Tonight I miss my mom. In a few days the two year anniversary of the last week of her life. I would do anything to talk to her right now and have her answer me. She had the best instincts in the world when it came to people. She gave the best advice. She knew me without me having to explain. She knew my reasons and motives without me ever having to explain. She would lecture, but talk me through things.

My demons are not very pretty. They are not very nice sometimes. When they come out to haunt me they bring me down low. It's been two years, and I still am reduced to tears when I think about her. Mom and one other thing do it to me every time. I rarely talk anout the other thing. Too traumatic.

If anyone has any suggestions on how I can exercise my demons I'd appreciate the advice. I get tired of crying all the time.