Masquerade



Me with Levon at Rocky Horror Picture Show
Live. This is w/ my shirt on before they removed it.



What is Halloween for adults, but a time for fantasy? A time to break out of their everyday mold, and pretend to be something they aren't. Or are they pretending...

I want to talk about women and Halloween.  The other day I heard Kidd Kraddick talking about it on his show. He said it's not just and angel, it's a dirty angel. It's not just a devil, but a naughty devil, etc. He said that women use Halloween to hooch themselves up. He's right about that. Why is it women use this holiday for an excuse to hooch it up, to dress like sluts, to bare almost all?

I can only speak for myself. First of all, this year was the first time in years I had enough confidence in myself that I felt comfortable going out in public wearing what I did the last two nights. The last time it came close, I dressed as a cat, but I wore a skirt that covered me up. That was about nine years ago. This weekend I went out in fishnets, covered by boy shorts that did not really cover much and corsets. I actually went on stage at Rocky Horror Picture Show live wearing boy shorts, a pleather corset, fishnets and a black bra. I had a lace shirt on, but they took it off of me when I went on stage. I wouldn't have done that a year ago, and I probably wouldn't have done it 10 years ago. I know I'm not small, but for the first time I think I have enough muscles in the right places not to look too bad.

I wear things like this because I can't do it all the time. I do it because I'm a professional with a reputation to protect. I do it because I can't be a successful professional and a hooch. People do not take you seriously when you dress like a ho all the time. I value my professional reputation immensely. In fact, I actually pulled my work image into my personal life recently. I'm trying desperately here to not cross my work and my play. In only one way do the two intersect, and I'm making sure the line doesn't get crossed. A friend of mine called me a closet exhibitionist. It's probably true. I always did like short skirts. The difference is now I realize there is a place for short skirts. And work isn't the place.

On Halloween, I can wear whatever I want with not thoughts as to the consequences. "It was Halloween," I can say. I can go as a dominatrix, a burlesque girl, a slutty witch, or whatever. No recriminations necessary. I can act out a fantasy, or show my true face. The side that only comes out in private. The side I don't want the world to see. I can be what I secretly want to be. If I want to. And there are few people who ever know what my true motivations are for my costumes. And I'm almost positive, it is the same for everyone else.

All people have their unique fantasies, fetishes, perversions, etc. Some are very open, and others keep those things locked up so no one can see. In some ways I even those who can be open about those things. To not need to worry about what others think is a wonderful thing. For others, and there are many others (if you don't believe me you weren't out last night), Halloween is an opportunity to masquerade. What your are hiding are revealing is only for you to know. Strangely enough I have found out a few things about some people of late. Things that I never would have guessed, or even thought about. Things I've never considered. For all that I consider myself an erudite person, I have to admit there are some things I'm completely clueless about.

Me with Becky on Halloween.

The one thing I do know is that Halloween is a night to fly your freak flag high, and be all that you can be, or that you want to be. It is a night for Masquerade. And no one need know why.

I have been covered from head to toe for years, this year was my year to shine.

"Masquerade! Paper faces on parade . . . Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you!...Masquerade! Seething shadows breathing lies . . . Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you!" - Masquerade from The Phantom of the Opera.